Brynjolf, VIKING LAD EXTRAORDINAIRE!

[Merlin]

Ah the comforting sounds of battle, what a lovely dream!

[luigi]

>Wake up

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FINALLY, A MERLIN-AUTHORED ADVENTURE FOR ME AND MY LOVELY CHILDREN TO ENJOY.

[Merlin]

Wake up.

Wait a minute, this is no dream!
You find yourself regaining consciousness in the middle of a battlefield, you and your viking friends must have been ambushed.
most of them are dead, accept harry huge horns over there. good for him, no one thought he would make it this long, huge horns are top heavy. none of that matters now hes a goner he faces a bruit and some... children? how uncivilized!
dammit wheres that axe? that was a good axe.
wheres your helmet? how else will you be identified as a viking?

[luigi]

>Do some jumping jacks to prepare yourself

[23toedbasket]

And Channel your potent fucking viking rage till you've entered a frenzy

[Merlin]

>Do some jumping jacks to prepare yourself

And Channel your potent fucking viking rage till you've entered a frenzy

Your whole body aches, but you did cut a guys head in half so thats understandable. how long have you been out? well your boys defiantly gave them a fight so probably 15 minutes, you gotta warm up.
you get up and start doing jumping jacks, dangerous thing with a sword but you are classically trained.
out of the corner of your eye you see Harry Huge Horns get stabbed an unnecessary amount of times.
this would be a great time to use your POTENT FUCKING VIKING RAGE! unfortunately you never quite mastered that skill but maybe this is your moment!
they killed you FRIENDS!!
THEY DIDN'T EVEN GIVE YOU A CHANCE TO WARM UP!!!
(what else makes you angry?)
I HATE IT WHEN SOMEONE FINISHES THE MEAD AND THEY DON'T CHANGE THE KEG!!!!
(its working!)
THAT FUCKING GUY AT THE FRONT OF THE BOAT WHO JUST BEATS HIS DAMN DRUM WHILE WE ALL ROW CAN KISS MY ASS!!!!!
thats it you have entered your POTENT FUCKING VIKING RAGE state! you channel all of your POTENT FUCKING VIKING RAGE energy into the current task. Jumping jacks.
You start jack jumping so hard the congealed blood on your sword fans out into a beautiful blood rainbow.
your POTENT FUCKING VIKING RAGE wears off, you are exhausted.
your sword is now clean.

[luigi]

>Go punch that kid hiding behind a tree in the face to establish dominance.

[Merlin]

>Go punch that kid hiding behind a tree in the face to establish dominance.

This has been a bad day, you finally understand how to POTENT FUCKING VIKING RAGE and waste it on jumping jacks, Sammy spear man is missing and Harry Huge Horns is curled into a ball with his guts in his lap (he probably needs medical attention about 5 minutes ago).
its about time you start making some new friends. the viking way.
you see a small figure wearing some kind of stupid hat in the treeline
(maybe if i hit him enough he will be my friend)
you walk towards the treeline
one of the fellows who ambushed you steps into your path and yells "HALT IN THE NAME OF THE KING"
the rest of them saw you RAGERAGEFUCKINGRAGE on those jumping jacks and are confident that their friend can handle your tired ass alone. they stay back... for now.

[luigi]

>Reply to halt by saying "NUH-UH!"

[23toedbasket]

If he attacks you, proceed to overpower him with brutal ferocity and a tad of cannibalism

[Merlin]

>Reply to halt by saying "NUH-UH!"

If he attacks you, proceed to overpower him with brutal ferocity and a tad of cannibalism

the guard yells again for you to stop, but why would you stop? you are a man on a mission and no king or his stupid men will stop you!
as you try to walk past the guard attacks!
thanks to your lightning fast reflexes you quickly dispatch the guard with your signature move! NECK STAB!
in a BRYNlliant show of awesome power you lift the small lifeless body over your head and bite off its nose!
Cartilage, crunchy, yum. you have regained some of your energy from this snack.
you are close enough now to see that the bitch-boy in the trees is none other than Sammy spear man! what a relief he is already your friend from the last time you kicked the shit out of him, although it is very disappointing that he would run from this fight, you will have to punish him later.

[luigi]

>Demand that Sammy call you Bryn from now on, because Brynjolf is too cumbersome of a name for a man of ACTION like yourself.

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I've been saying it forever now.

Bryn is short for Brynjolf.

I don't know why you keep arguing me on this.

[23toedbasket]

Bryn isnt short for Brynjolf, BRYNJOLF HAS NO SHORT FORM! Who said that? I'll Kill them

(develope split personalities)

[Merlin]

>Demand that Sammy call you Bryn from now on, because Brynjolf is too cumbersome of a name for a man of ACTION like yourself.

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I've been saying it forever now.

Bryn is short for Brynjolf.

I don't know why you keep arguing me on this.

The Bitch-Slapening

you approach Sammy and inform him that your name is Bryn now, you are a warrior and have no time for names as long as Brynjolf.
Sammy responds with some dumb shit about how Bryn is a name already and not actually a short form for anything blah blah blah...
you know Sammy is right, but you are a warrior and dont have time for such arguments. back to plan a.
you walk up and bitch-slap Sammy across his stupid face. you are in charge now, and this name change IS happening.

[Merlin]

Bryn isnt short for Brynjolf, BRYNJOLF HAS NO SHORT FORM! Who said that? I'll Kill them

(develope split personalities)

After a good bitch-slap, Sammy is ready to comply with your name change. he responds "yes sir, Bryn from now on"

"I AM BRYNJOLF THE VIKING LORD DONT YOU DARE TRY TO SHORTEN MY NAME! if i ever hear you call me Bryn again it will be your head!"

you smack Sammy across his mouth for his impudence.
"you will get the beating you deserve later" you whisper into Sammy's ear.
(Sammy has been successfully established as a friend)
you would like to kill him for coming up with that absolute dog shit bumblefuck trash basket of a name but it seems that the bruit and his... child? associates that killed Harry Huge Horns have approached and are trying to get your attention.

[IamtheFather]

>Black guys: run in fear

[Merlin]

>Black guys: run in fear

the "black guys" try to get your attention again, how could they be so rude, cant they see you are taking disciplinary action with this subordinate?
you turn to face them and start screaming about how they can wait until you are finished and if they had any manners at all they would go and sit quietly at he edge of the battlefield in wait.
as soon as you turn they see the angry look in your eye and start to run all the while begging you not to eat them. i guess that tad of cannibalism you partook in earlier was good for more than just a tasty snack.

[IamtheFather]

>Tell them about your softer emotions

[23toedbasket]

When they begin to lower their guard switch into your FREAKOUT CRAZY self and do something Wild, savage, ruthless and disturbing

[Merlin]

>Tell them about your softer emotions

When they begin to lower their guard switch into your FREAKOUT CRAZY self and do something Wild, savage, ruthless and disturbing

"Wait" you shout at the black guys running away from you, "i too feel soft emotions such as sadness, loneliness, and fear"
that seems to have stopped them in their tracks, they now see you as human and believe they have a chance to reason with you.
as they approach the friendly look on you face puts them at ease.
they have dropped their guard.
NOW, NOW IS YOUR TIME TO DO SOMETHING SAVAGE RUTHLESS AND DISTURBING!
you turn on your heel and in one clean swing you remove Sammy the spear mans head.
catching the now lifeless head of your friend in your other hand. you take a moment to enjoy the feeling of his warm blood coating your face and chest.
as his body crumples to the ground you turn to speak to your new friends, but they seem to have run off.
"why would they run off Sammy?" you say to your friends severed head.
you dont get a response, but the look of supersize on Sammys face matches the supersize you feel, why would they run? you're nice enough arent you?