Homestuck.XYZ 2.0

discuss...

A ham sandwich could do Homestuck justice, the bar is just that low.

Ah yes, I want to see a movie composed of 90 minutes of John typing. If there was a movie (or movies), so much of Homestuck would have to be changed or cut simply because no ones going to sit through 40 minutes of useless captchaloguing shenanigans. I don't know how you'd implement commands or like... just the ideas the Homestuck is based on into a movie.

If someone managed to produce a mock screenplay for the first Homestuck movie, I'd be damn impressed.

You'd have to cut out a lot.

Let's be generous and say.... You get a trilogy, 1h 20m minimum each.

Homestuck: The Movie, would have to cut down most of the interactions between the kids and themselves, the kids and the trolls, and how much screentime the guardians have- Jade dicking around on Prospit would have to be cut (that can be the opening scene in Homestuck 2), the initial massive alchemizing phase would have to be cut down to a few quick alchemizations to showcase the system(everyone gets one good item, John gets the Wrinklefucker for instance.) You'd be ending the movie right after they enter their first gates.

Homestuck: The Movie 2: Hivetrapped would have to cover the minimum amount of the troll interactions- their proper introduction and watching them watch the kids. Quick smash cuts between the kids getting better weapons and grinding for levels, until Jack is revealed, etc, etc. They'd have to wrap up the Jack stuff quick enough, with the L for the kids being handed out before the movie ends.

Homestuck: The Movie 3: Dimensiontangled would have to briefly cover the Alpha kids, before introducing Lord English, and subsequently managing to drive him off and win the game, cutting out or down a LOT of shit, such as the ghosts (out), John getting the Treasure (down), romance subplots (down), Game Over (out), Condesce (down), Union Jack (out), the felt (down), Hussie (out, out, out. Fucking out. Can't even cover the Huss at all in these movies. Just fucking cut the fuck out), and The Scratch (down)

Honestly your best bet would just be to cover a different plot entirely. Nobody's gonna watch an MCU length Homestuck series.

If you throw it up to extended LOTR proportions you could get at least roughly 12 hours out of it.

OK, but honestly would you sit through 12 hours of internet memes on the big screen, in those uncomfortable theater chairs?

Mmm. Direct to video, then?

Well...it would be really cool, although i wouldn’t think Homestuck would translate well into that form of media.

There’s just some types of meta going on in Homestuck that can’t really be put into a movie.

I don't think so, just because I think the pull from game over, would be too harsh of a thing to pull in movie form and have a good amount of people wanting to watch it after the fact since HS in movie form would still be too new.

But I do agree that a ton of content would have to be cut, and some possibly more so with some of the references that Andrew makes, any/all movie stars that make an appearance, brands, ect. It would be a very difficult thing to pull off.

bruh. Homestuck the musical exists though?

Id rather have a film of problem sleuth. Itd actually be funny to watch a person dicking about their room doing insane commands and having smashcuts where 1 items rurns into another for no reason. Plus, detective outfits.

Alternatively SBaHJ movie 2 or Psycholonials.

Homestuck could only be re-adapted into a different type of comic, a videogame (lol rip hiveswap) or an animated series that cut out a lot and changed all the pesterchum logs into facetime calls.

if they existed, the homestuck movies would have to be able to stand on their own without needing the viewers to have any prior knowledge or attachment to homestuck (similar to, say, the mcu) without being a major downgrade. i think this is challenging considering the only other attempt to bring homestuck to a different format, the books, came bundled with spoiler laden author commentary because (presumably) the books are enough of a downgrade from the webcomic that you'd only be selling to people who've already read the thing.

i'd imagine it would have to be pared down severely, and possibly updated somewhat. what's the closest analogue to a CYOA game in film, even?

Thanks for sharing.

meatman wrote: ↑

Thu Sep 09, 2021 12:36 pm

i'd imagine it would have to be pared down severely, and possibly updated somewhat. what's the closest analogue to a CYOA game in film, even?

Plumbers Don't Wear Ties. Or Black Mirror:Bandersnatch if you want to be optimistic. But Homestuck rid itself interactivity pretty early on and you can't really replicate what interactivity it did have unless they filmed like a 5 minute clip once a day in response to submissions. I think there was a Sburbventure Youtube series kinda like that